"Tool Stories" and everything else.

We celebrated my Grandpa H's birthday the other day.  Michaela and I were gone the whole day, so I was out of the loop as to exactly what we were doing- gifts, dinner, etc.

When Grandpa was opening the gifts, he started with one from the twins.  It was a yellow folder, he opened it up and inside was a "Book"  it was about five pages, and titled "Tool Stories."  They were all written by the twins (with, I suspect, a little help from Katie) and grandpa proceeded to read them all out loud.

Tool Stories
By, Allison and Sarah Hammermaster

Chapter 1
Once apon a time their was a man. The man’s name was Fred. Fred loved to rock climing with tools. One day he was rock climing he was using tools he saw a rock falling wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said not to do this at home.
The End
(Warning do not rock climb without an umbrella to catch the falling rocks)

Chapter 2
Once apon a time there was a
tool the tool hid under a tree next to a house it was very special because it was made of gold. The man who lived in the house owned the special tool. One day a robber came and stole it. So he called the police. The police found out who he was and where he was. He was on a waterfall. The person who had the tool went to the waterfall. After a big fight near the waterfall, he got the tool back and ran home.
The End

(Warning, never fight near a Waterfall)

Chapter 3
Once upon a time, the was a man who didn’t have much stuff. All he needed was a shed with tools inside it. He had barely any tools. In fact, all he had was seeds! He wanted to plant those seeds so they would become beautiful flowers. He wanted to be famous and have millions of pretty flowers. He loved flowers. One day, he went to a place with sheds. He asked someone where the best sheds were. The assistant answered in the tool section. In the tool section! he thought. He looked there and saw one of the best unpainted shed in the world! He bought a whole bunch of tools and stuff. He put all the tool stuff into the new shed he bought. He painted the shed yellow. He thought the color was very pretty. He put all his tool stuff in and planted MILLIONS of flowers.
The End

(Warning ask someone before buying a shed)

Chapter 4
Once upon a time, there was a man named Zak. He loved tools. He wanted to be a professional tool maker. He thought he could do it by going to museums and learning about shaping metal and making metal. Then he thought he would be a professional tool maker. He asked billions and billions of people where museum were where they could teach him how to make and shape metal. One day he went up to a lady and asked, “do you know where I could find a metal museum?” She told him of a museum past Seattle. He went to the museum and learned lots about metal and became a professional at making tools.
The End

(Warning don’t talk to strangers)


Chapter 5
One day, there was a man who saw a beautiful rock. He thought he would make it into a statue. So he made it into a statue and put it in his yard. He was a professional at metal so he made two tools and put them on the statue. The man’s name was Sam. He loved to make stuff and carve statues. He also loved to plant things. One day he went to a museum with lots of pretty flowers. He thought he should make a museum. He worked days and days to make a museum. He moved tons of stuff in. He put his statue and flowers in. Tons of people came. They loved the statue. They had fun looking at it. One day, he decided he was going to give a show. So he made a show that showed people how to make metal, and with that metal, How to make a tool.
The End

(Warning never start a museum without being a parent)

The stories are all so random and ridiculous, really, we all were laughing SO much at them, especially the warning.

Today I made lemon bars, which we are going to give to my grandparents for mothers day.  They all turned out well, until I got them out of the pan and piled them onto a plate.  Well, mom pointed out that they were all melting together.  I started prying them apart, and arranging them on three plates.  I got most of them divided alright, xcept I martyred about three of them, so I know naturally had to eat the bits and pieces that I couldn't salvage.  I have decided that they taste very good, and I also really don't need dinner now.