So I wrote this free verse poem about our Irish Dance performance at the Emmanuel Talent night the day after we performed there. Poetry seems to be the thing right now, so I thought I would post it.
Christmas,
we sugest
a dance.
In three months we
will
perform.
January
we choreograph
a dance.
Together we
work,
choosing, planning.
Febuary,
we practice
a dance.
We might not
be looking
for
perfection,
but something
close.
March,
we have polished
a dance.
We are ready.
A week before
our dance.
A final practice,
the last
details
in place.
Tonight,
we perform
our dance.
We
are
ready.
Celtic Reel,
what is it?
No one knows.
Finally,
it is time.
We go,
change into
our costumes.
Our turn now,
for
our dance.
We take our
places,
wait for the
music
to start.
And then . . .
We dance.
11 comments:
I like it! no, I LOVE it! esp. the end.
what is it?
and then...we dance.
probably the dot-dot-dots i like. it's very good.
Thanks . . . it was really fun to write it. I'm quite pleased with it myself.
I like it!
It almost felt like I was getting ready to dance. . .
But then it wasn't me.
Can't wait to see it!
That is good that is the feeling you got . . . that is what comes across to me too.
well the end gave me goose bumps, if that's any indication!
bravo!
Thankyou!
i like it! very well done!
it's very choppy, which could be pretty sweet if it was intentionally like irish dancing. play with your line breaks, perhaps?
if i was to give more advice i'd say try to use less abstractions like perfection and perform and and choreograph.....try to use nouns and concrete verbs. it's very hard to do and it's what every poet struggles with at first.
but it's close, i think.
definitely shows a keen mind behind it.
bravo.
Thanks Sam!
Thank you even more for the advice . . . I was hoping you would give some. I see your point, and I think my freeverse may be to choppy.
Okay, I see what you are saying about the words to. Maybe I will mess around with it.
Thanks!
no problemo, and believe me, my poems were worse at the start in terms of choppiness and abstractions. lol. like i said, i think it's the first thing every poet struggles with.
i'm going to post something later that may make it into the book I'm feigning to be writing.
oh yeah...have to type it up first.
may I respectfully remind you about the once a week deadline?
may i respectfully say "YEAH, whats up with that, Bethany?"
lol, I'm excited to hear your take on the performence today! you will post about it, right?
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