I wanna have the same last dream again the one where I wake up and I'm alive

Before Riverdance Workshop:
I am so excited for this. Dance is for those moments when you are floating. They don't always come all the time. In a way dance is also an identity. Everyone wants to have an identity, you know? But I don't think anything is wrong with that. I want dance to be my identity. I'm good with being "dancer girl" I would love for people to think of me that way. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm NOT dancer girl- it's not that I don't like dance, but that I'm not very good at it, it doesn't come naturally to me. But maybe I'm more dancer girl if I have to work for what I want. But maybe I don't know what I want yet. I know I have some goals . . . like to compete. Just once. But what about my life? How far do I want to carry dance? It would be so sad to just stop dancing. I don't think I ever could give it up. I want to dance all my life. I can see myself- home school mom/dancer. In a way though I want to actually pursue dance- as in a career. Dancing in Riverdance has become one of my closest dreams. I just don't know if I can do it in reality. I don't want it for my whole life. Just part of it. Why not go for our dreams? Dance in Riverdance, get married, have kids, and become the most awesome home schooling mom ever. I do find that I am so lazy. I have a lot of trouble having motivation to get anything done. As far as school goes, I'm just not good. Maybe that is why dance is for me. Somehow, I have this feeling that is an excuse. I could excel in school perhaps, if tried. But I really don't care, except to please mom and dad. I think I would care about dance a bit more. After all, its what I love, right? I guess why this workshop is important to me. To learn stuff from Riverdance is awesome. To get a feel for that life is even better.


After Riverdance Workshop:

It was even better, more than I expected. The email Miss Patti sent said to bring hardshoes and soft shoes. But she told us in class that we would only need our hardshoes. I wasn't to surprised, but of course I brought my hard shoes anyway.

This morning, I woke up really early. Normally I turn over and just go back to sleep. I was rather excited today so I just couldn't really.

We carpooled with the Watts and Becka and Caitlyn. When we got their, we got on our ghillies and split up into two groups. After warmups, he asked us to put on our hardshoes. We got to learn the "Riverdance" piece from the show, which was SOOOO exciting!! We spent the whole time working on it. It was hard, I mean, a lot of the stuff we learned we didn't truly know. But he broke down the pieces, and when over each section OVER and OVER again, which was definitely good.

After learning the two steps, we learned the skipping part the formed us into one strait line. We ran through the entire thing twice. Obviously, there was more to the dance, but we can't learn everything. The thing is it is SO fast- even for Irish dance. That is what makes it so powerful, of course, but it is going to take a lot of practice for me to get there. Elizabeth has an amazing knack for picking up steps quickly, which was definitely a good thing.

I only expected to learn a small bit of Riverdance, something easier, and spend a lot of time on drills. I was thrilled that we spent the whole time learning something from Riverdance. Caitlyn and Becka were part of the other group. They got to learn a part of Countess Cathleen, which is a slip jig, and VERY beautiful. Caitlyn kind of taught it to us afterwards.

It was definately tons of work- but so amazing and worth it. It was absolutely incredible to learn the steps to something that I have loved and enjoyed SO much without actually being able to do it. I can listen to the music and recognize what they are doing. I could watch it and know it, but I can't do that yet, because I promised not to watch Riverdance until we see it- that was as of the middle of december. Two days to go.



Before Riverdance:
It's crazy to be able to say that I'm seeing Riverdance tomorrow. Doing the workshop is going to make me appreciate it even more. As in, more than I would as any normal person, and more than I could as an Irish Dancer. I know its going to be wonderful. I can imagine it all- the lights dimming, the music starting the dancers coming in. Especially that first dance. I can perfectly picture what its going to be like. I'm pretty confident that I'm not going to be disappointed!

We are going to go really early, so that we can all get souvenirs from the gift shop. I know exactly what I want, because I 've gone to the online store enough. I'm excited for everything. And it is all tomorrow!!!

We're gonna see Riverdance tomorrow! We're gonna see Riverdance tomorrow! We're gonna see Riverdance tomorrow! *practices her Riverdance steps she learned the other day*



After Riverdance:
It was indescribable. And thats what is so annoying about trying to write this post- no matter what I say, you won't be able to understand what seeing Riverdance was like. Just saying "Riverdance" all the time. There's the word. The same, (over used, on my part) normal much heard word. Riverdance Riverdance Riverdance. But then there's the alive one, living breathing, breathtaking, real, its meaning is completely different now, it has its own set of feelings with it now. But unless you were their, I really don't think you can understand that word.

Walking in, and getting my first glimpse of the stage. Another indescribable thing: the amazingness of seeing FOR REAL in front of me on an actual stage, the "set", what I know so well from watching many videos many times over. It might sound a little silly, but it made me want to cry, somehow- I'm finally here, I finally get to see what I have watched for so many years for real this time. It's simple, but very beautiful. And I know it so well. I could describe it to you. I think it really truly hit me then that I was there.

It was all so beautiful. There were several other times that I felt like crying, just because I was so joyful. Of course, if I cried, I would miss some of the dancing, so I didn't actually let that happen. Everything was beautifully executed, perfectly done. It was so powerful to actually be there!!! I loved everything about it. And what was really amazing was that it was better than the workshop! It was all that I could hope for. Looking ahead, I could imagine the lights dimming, the music starting, the dancers walking in. It all happened. In the first dance, the lead man slipped and fell on his solo. It was so fast, mom and dad missed that it even happened! I nearly didn't even see it.





Hearing the hardshoes that the dancers couldn't quiet when they walked. The soft thud when the dancers hit the ground after some amazing jump in soft shoe. The incredibly powerful music. Anticipating what was coming up next, because I knew. The best part was the piece titled "Riverdance," because that was what we had learned some of the steps. Not only was it SO SO powerful, but it was even more amazing because I had tried to do what they were doing, I had learned the steps they were doing. Seeing some part of the dance and knowing it so well that I had to remind myself that I wasn't watching a video, this was for real.