Sometimes I feel so different from everyone else . . .
I think I have the best life of everyone I know, except our cousins from New Jersey. We have a super tight knit, close family, unlike everyone else I know. Everyone has a great love for their family, I know, but to me, it just doesn't seem the same. Of course, I could be wrong. But the Watts, they are different from us, I know it. I feel that they can't get along half the time. Of course we all argue but sometimes you all just seem so . . . seperated. The hardest thing for me is Emily and Elizabeth. They aren't that far apart, and yet, they just don't get along. It makes me sad to think that Emily is closer to Eric the Lizzy. I mean, shouldn't we be about even with how we are with our syblings? I wish everyone could be as happy as me, with Michaela, and all of my other syblings. Sometimes I think that everyone misses out on the most important things in life. Have any of you in recent years, tried to play with your syblings a imaginative, game, one that you make up on the spot, and play periodically throughout time? All six of us kids will play an imaginary game that our trampoline is a teleportor, and we get into different worlds, the world of horses, of unicorns, of magic, of oh anything . . .and improvising as you go . . it makes me sad that all of my friends have just moved on from that. Of course, it is ment to happen, and I get bored pretty easily with those kind of games, so then I just have to be patience and play a little longer untill I escape. : )
Sometimes, I feel so rediculous. Once I got upset and one of my siblings, maybe the twins. And then I felt guilty, and then i tried to make up for it. I though, how rediculous! I can't even get upset without loving them so much that I want to make up for that. who of my friends would feel that way? At least most of my friends could stay recenably upset for awhile. But I just can't because I love them so much. And, that probebly is a good thing.
well,
I've been rambling on and on . . .
And I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, it was completely unintentional. I'm more saying this for myself, like a journal. And to here back on what you have to say, and if I am completely wrong to how I percieve everything.
3 comments:
Eowyn....not everyone has your perfect family. And I wouldn't say it was normal to be the same "close" with all your siblings. Emily and Eric just work together...they understand each other. I would say that I'm close to none of my family; I'm more of a loner then anything else.
But I don't think it's immature to play imaginary games; I do that all the time. mostly by myself; that's where I get stories from. But me and Zach and Beth will play games in which we do a ton of fighting. Unfortunately, though, we kind of have different imaginations, so Beth's worlds always have lots of different rules, and mine just kind of take off wherever. So we don't do like long, complicated games.
ah, I remember in the old days...when Sam actually played with us...we had wonderful long complicated and happy games...but now it's just me I suppose...
hehey, Eowyn, I never stay upset for long...I'm always the first person to apologize for a fight. And like, even if I deliberately try to hold onto my anger...it's just gone. I never stay angry or depressed for long. except for like, a couple weeks ago... but that's a whole 'nother story.
But I actually don't get into fights much; usually what happens is that I try to stop my little siblings from fighting. then I get into trouble because...well....let's just say Beth really doesn't like it when you're not on her side.
You are not completely wrong on how you perceive everything. You look at things like a lovable, peacemaking person. I would just tell you that you don't have to keep everything perfect for your siblings...that's not the way the rest of the world is going to treat them. but just go on being the perfect big sister you are...I'll just go on being the imperfect one I am. *grins* no, wait, I'm perfect. of course!
Oh yes quite . . .
You have some very goo dpoints. I guess the hardest thing for me is the Watts, seeing all the differences that we have and growing apart little by little. I really don't want that to happen.
I know you feel this way, Beth. Your whole family does. And because of it, I always feel slightly out of place at your house... I mean, it truly is my home away from home, but I always feel like you view me as a really rebellious, liberal teen ager... and for a long time, that is how I WANTED you to see me.
Lately, my views have been changing.
Before I go into that, however, let me say that your family IS very different from most in that you love each other much more than is normal. And that is a GOOD thing, and a excelent example to those around you. Just make sure that that love isn't so sappy it's repulsive- you want to encourage people to be like you, not turn them away in disgust. But your not usualy sappy about it. :-)
Also remember that Elizabeth and I are almost oposite personalities. (ISTJ and ESFP) You and Michaela are identical. (ISFJ and ISFJ) Eric and I are almost identical. (ESFP and ESTP) I don't hate Elizabeth, but we've just never been able to hang out together because we're so different.
As I was saying, I used to want to be seen as the 'cool' teenager of the group, who just didn't fit in with her conservative family. Only recently have my views begun to change... my theme song used to be Breakaway. Think about that. Now I've changed it to Shine. Look up the words- it's by Steven Curtis Chapman. I really, really want to shine for Christ, and to draw people to Him through a loving, caring attitude. My whole self image is changing, and I find that when I try hard enough, it's easy to step into the 'sweet girl' mentality.
Just pray for me, Beth. I know I am a horrible older sister, and alot of the family dynamic depends on the oldest. You're a model older sister. Keep it up.
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